Life isn’t a matter of milestones, but of momentsRose Kennedy
I was born and raised in the 90’s when it was emphasized on us that things need to be done in life at a set time. We can’t be a year late or early in school. We have to get married within certain age in our life. We have to have had kids before we are 30. Two kids can’t be more than 3-4 years apart. This was the standard path. If you had anything that was different from this, it would have been a huge issue. Thankfully, my family has been extremely supportive of my decisions of not following a norm. But the pressure is immense and it took a long discussion with my family to make them realize that the system is not working.
I wish that people understood, there are no set timelines that everyone needs to follow. It is your life and you need to do things that make you happy and when you are ready. I have known people getting married at the ‘right’ age and being extremely unhappy.
A post sharing my wedding anniversary, had someone comment on it that it was time to have kids. My instant reaction was intense anger. They know nothing about my life and instead of celebrating with me, they were judging me for not having kids. I am sure this is one of the much smaller problems that what people face in terms of societal expectations.
How to overcome these set expectations in your mind and with your family?
- Write down whats bogging your down. What kind of expectations do you feel pressure to live up to?
- Change the way you think. Slight mindset changes can take you a long way. Understand that expectations aren’t real. Try to be as kind and compassionate as possible towards yourself and then others.
- Have a conversation with your family. Let them know that you don’t appreciate their constantly asking you about your life decisions.
- Own you life choices. There is no one way of doing things. You are responsible for your life and the choices you make.
It is time people realized that there are not set timelines. Follow your ambitions. We are all unique and posses special gifts and talents. We are not all made to live the exact same life.